Tywin’s rain had washed the Reynes right out of existence. Tywin had his men redirect a river into the few remaining cracks and crevices. When Tywin attacked, the Reynes and their followers retreated underground, thinking the complex below was impervious to assault. Castamere, the Reynes’ castle, was a mostly subterranean stronghold, extending deep underground into the old gold and silver mines through which the house had made its fortune. In both the books and the show, Tywin’s revenge was immortalized in the song “The Rains of Castamere” the HBO series has featured versions by both the National and Sigur Ros, and when the band at the Red Wedding started playing it, that was the tip-off that the shit was about to hit the fan.īut we’d never learned the specifics of the massacre until now, and they’re somehow even more cold-blooded than the song made it sound. The most famous incident involved Tywin’s slaughter of every last man, woman, and child from House Reyne, who’d risen in rebellion against their Lannister overlords. As you might expect from the future architect of the Red Wedding, this mostly involved killing a lot of people.
Tywin Lannister was an even bigger bastard than we thought.īefore he became the not-so-proud patriarch of the dysfunctional Lannister clan, the future Lord Tywin was a fed-up heir trying to clean up his weak father’s messes. (How many conflicts came down to people wanting to fuck their own siblings without some other person in the way? The answer may surprise you!) Daenerys’ ancestors may have unified the Seven Kingdoms, but it came at a hell of a cost.Ģ.
Even some of the most revered monarchs were less than they were cracked up to be: Daeron the Young Dragon conquered Dorne in a flash and lost it just as quickly, while the religious fanatic Baelor the Blessed alternated acts of charity and piety with fundamentalist craziness like imprisoning his beautiful sisters so he wouldn’t be tempted to fuck them. Every other king was completely crazy, likely a result of incessant inbreeding among the royals - hence names like Maegor the Cruel, Aegon the Unworthy, and Mad King Aerys. The Targaryens kind of sucked at ruling the Seven Kingdoms.įar from the glorious dynasty their PR team would have you believe, the blonde-haired monarchs of House Targaryen did a rather piss-poor job of running Westeros ever since Aegon the Conqueror took the continent by storm some 300 years before the events of the first book, A Game of Thrones, began. We put on our maester’s chain and came up with the top 10 biggest surprises, coolest Easter eggs, and craziest high-fantasy hijinks you can find in its 300-plus lavishly illustrated pages.
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